Yes, I did not blog since the Stone Age (warning: exaggerations may abound in the following paragraphs depending on your interpretation); but so what?
Time is a pretty relative thing for everyone. For argument's sake, some examples. I believe strongly that 8 hours of sleep is too little (most people do as well), while others can live on just 4 hours of sleep a day. I guess sporting those fashionable eye bags gets them through the day (the fashion icons that they are). Another example, yk will probably feel a hundred years is too short a time to comprehend the notion of beating a professional level team in PES, while I find 5 minutes (that's a whole first half of a football game in PES) is too long a time to comprehensively trash him as I see fit (yes, I am pretty damn bitter about you owning PES08 on ps3 unlike me, no sarcasm intended). Time is relative to everyone, and if you were smart enough to skip over that elaborate nonsense I had just written (no, you weren't? that's fine as well), I will say that that was my excuse for not blogging in a while despite promising to do so.
I figured that would be a better excuse to come up with than quote-unquote, "waiting for the stars to be in perfect alignment". Although, given the events in the wee hours of Thursday morning, yes, you know what's coming; maybe, just maybe, those stars were in perfect alignment for MU. By the end of that game, the emotions were probably best described by chef and pottymouth extraodinaire, Gordon Ramsey, two words, "fuck me".
"Goddamnit" you say. "He can't just let it go" you say. Well, to be honest, I really can't. We did it. EPL and UCL double. I said that by the end of the match I would be laughing due to a double, and so I was. Fate? Destiny? You really can't deny the signs. It's the 50th annivesary of the Munich disaster. 40th anniversary of our first European trophy. Paul "can't tackle but sure as hell can shoot" Scholes missed the last final, and there he was, blasting in the winning goal against Barca to send us into the final. Giggs, equalling Charlton's appearance record against Wigan figured he would commemorate the occasion with the goal that gave us the domestic title. On the day he creates a new record for appearances, he figures he would celebrate with the winning penalty for the European title. Doesn't get much better for an MU fan, although that's about as far as it goes. Chelsea fans obviously won't be celebrating, Arse fans are too busy fantasizing of the 'beautiful' football they will be playing next season and no self respecting Liv fan would be approving of an MU win.
So, if you actually read that paragraph and found it to be utter rubbish, you would do well to learn from past mistakes. Exhibit A: end of first paragraph.
Moving on, "about time" you say, can I just make a small complaint? Like most guys, I liked drinking the occasional beer despite it's bitterness. Why drink when it tastes bitter? I figure it is sort of like a rite of passage to be an 'adult' for most guys. Yes, I understand the irony that the notion of 'getting drunk and most likely embarrassing yourself in some shape or form' is considered to be 'adult' behavior. Having said all that, I hope you would have noticed I said "likeD" (capital-lettered the d just in case). Yes, now I do my best to stay away from that bitter nectar of drunkenness. It is not that alcohol in itself is passe for me. Vodka, gin, whiskey? Go for it I say. But sadly I have lost that thirst for beer. All thanks to the underage drunk below. If a beer belly of that magnitude does not scare you, well you must have balls of steel.
On a less 'controversial' issue (really doesn't get more controversial than saying a guy shouldn't drink beer), I have a big qualm with Sony. I have a ps3. Quite frankly, I enjoy using it. However, in some twisted and bizarre way, it reminds me of a strip dance. "WTF" you say. I told you it was twisted and bizarre. Let me get to my point. The connecting thread between the two is the notion of teasing. The latter is pretty self-explanatory, so I will talk about the ps3. You start out with the decent games, enjoying it somewhat, but you need more. There is all the hype of new games coming out that will blow your mind (numb your mind is more logical since we are talking video games, but what the hell). Fast forward a few months later. You buy gta4 and can't wait to start those road rampages on the streets of Liberty City. You put the disc in, pick up the controller in anticipation. The screen fades into black, and then a message pops up. This is paraphrasing but, "THIS GAME CANNOT BE PLAYED DUE TO WRONG OUTPUT SETTINGS". For lack of better words, I need a new, better and more expensive tv. DAMN IT. Going back to my first sentence of this paragraph, this is more controversial, no?
This post is getting a bit long, which really is not in accordance with my recent modus operandi (yes, I am being a prick and using elaborate words because MU won), so I will have to end it soon. Final words, I returned home today absolutely gutted. I am very sure I will be getting my first FAIL in a uni test. "It was a stupid idea to wake up at 2.30am in the morning and watch MU then" you say. "NOOOO" I say. As long as I pass my end of semester exam I shall pass the unit and not have to repeat it.
Would I be willing to fail a test and forego getting a Distinction or whatnot just to watch MU lift 'Big Ears'?
HELL YEAH!
Would I be willing to fail a test and just barely pass a unit just to watch MU lift 'Big Ears'?
HELL YEAH!
Would I be willing to fail a test and fail a unit, thus repeating said unit next year just to watch MU lift 'Big Ears'?
HELL Y... how about I get back to you at the end of the semester?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
beery flawed if you ask me,
No really, whats with most dudes and beer?
it is almost as though the amount of beer you can consume is proportional to your manhood, and thus worthy of much mockery if you're unable to gulp down large amounts, in short periods.
since the beer drinking habit started so long ago, almost since the start of mankind, i really don't know how it became popular, but i do imagine it was something like this.
one day man ferments yeast and produces the world's first beer.
man 1 : 'look dude, this tastes bitter and horrible, but its kinda cool still cause i made it'
man 2 : 'yea it tastes horrible, but since i can drink it fast means i'm stronger than you!'
m1 : 'no fuck you dude, watch this *gulp gulp*'
m2 : 'not bad, but i already conquered your whole barrel!'
m1 : 'No Wayyyy'
m2 : 'yea suck on that bitch ha ha!'
so since then when ever someone embarks on the journey of alcohol drinking, its almost an unwritten rule that you should start with the most elementary basics, the bitter crap tasting beer, and if you don't like it, Well, learn to gulp it down anyways.
otherwise you'll be branded weak, we're cool so screw you.
okay la i concede, the fact that almost every girl i have drunk with doesn't like beer one bit, makes everything a whole lot harder.
but hey, you don't have to conform right.
its not that i have anything against beer, no nothing of that sort, no B for beerdetta, but i just don't see the reason you should drink or eat, for that matter, anything that you do not like just for the sake of your reputation.
in fact, many people don't understand beer and assume its had many adverse health effects so on and so forth, but actually did you know even 'beer belly' is not caused by beer solely? overeating and a sedentary lifestyle is ultimately responsible for it, though a STRONG correlation between BINGE drinking and BEER belly has been found.
occasional drinking of beer is, in fact, 'associated with decreased risk of cardiac disease, stroke and cognitive decline.' - wikipedia.
so,
vodka?
'cheers'
whiskey?
'yea mate'
beer?
'no thanks'
'eh but bo ta bo lam par (don't down means no balls) '
heh.
its alright i'll pass.
it is almost as though the amount of beer you can consume is proportional to your manhood, and thus worthy of much mockery if you're unable to gulp down large amounts, in short periods.
since the beer drinking habit started so long ago, almost since the start of mankind, i really don't know how it became popular, but i do imagine it was something like this.
one day man ferments yeast and produces the world's first beer.
man 1 : 'look dude, this tastes bitter and horrible, but its kinda cool still cause i made it'
man 2 : 'yea it tastes horrible, but since i can drink it fast means i'm stronger than you!'
m1 : 'no fuck you dude, watch this *gulp gulp*'
m2 : 'not bad, but i already conquered your whole barrel!'
m1 : 'No Wayyyy'
m2 : 'yea suck on that bitch ha ha!'
so since then when ever someone embarks on the journey of alcohol drinking, its almost an unwritten rule that you should start with the most elementary basics, the bitter crap tasting beer, and if you don't like it, Well, learn to gulp it down anyways.
otherwise you'll be branded weak, we're cool so screw you.
okay la i concede, the fact that almost every girl i have drunk with doesn't like beer one bit, makes everything a whole lot harder.
but hey, you don't have to conform right.
its not that i have anything against beer, no nothing of that sort, no B for beerdetta, but i just don't see the reason you should drink or eat, for that matter, anything that you do not like just for the sake of your reputation.
in fact, many people don't understand beer and assume its had many adverse health effects so on and so forth, but actually did you know even 'beer belly' is not caused by beer solely? overeating and a sedentary lifestyle is ultimately responsible for it, though a STRONG correlation between BINGE drinking and BEER belly has been found.
occasional drinking of beer is, in fact, 'associated with decreased risk of cardiac disease, stroke and cognitive decline.' - wikipedia.
so,
vodka?
'cheers'
whiskey?
'yea mate'
beer?
'no thanks'
'eh but bo ta bo lam par (don't down means no balls) '
heh.
its alright i'll pass.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Great Black Box
Well, it seems like I'm being forced to blog, what with my two compatriots seemingly running out of ideas (note previous incomprehensible post).
I guess I'll talk about the only thing that has kept me semi-amused for the time being, the PS3. Yes, I own a PS3. You won't hear me argue which one's better, Wii, 360 or PS3, cause to really know would be to buy all three then wait for the playing field to be level first before you start judging them. (Or you could watch this vid and decide for yourself: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/1383-Zero-Punctuation-Console-Rundown)
But for now, I'll be hankering for the PS3 to eventually beat the stuffing outta the other two but that might take some waiting. Good things come to those who wait I suppose.
And yes back to the PS3. The only thing that's pissing me off is the massive update file I have to download before I can go online on it. (Actually that could be a blessing in disguise seeing that I will have my ass handed to me in pieces in PES 08 by Mr. Jakcrash once I do so.) And with my internet deciding to shit itself and die every few seconds, downloading that file takes a little more patience than I have, worse so because the download resets everytime the connection dies.
Oh well, I'll give it a shot during my holidays, maybe I can finally experience the so-called incredibly fun multiplayer of GTA4. (Yes, it can go multiplayer and it is the most kickass thing ever or so according to what the reviews had led me to think.) For now I guess I would have to say a reluctant good-bye to it, end of the semester brings a hell load of assignments and projects to finish and the ever looming final exams. Sighs.
I guess I'll talk about the only thing that has kept me semi-amused for the time being, the PS3. Yes, I own a PS3. You won't hear me argue which one's better, Wii, 360 or PS3, cause to really know would be to buy all three then wait for the playing field to be level first before you start judging them. (Or you could watch this vid and decide for yourself: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/1383-Zero-Punctuation-Console-Rundown)
But for now, I'll be hankering for the PS3 to eventually beat the stuffing outta the other two but that might take some waiting. Good things come to those who wait I suppose.
And yes back to the PS3. The only thing that's pissing me off is the massive update file I have to download before I can go online on it. (Actually that could be a blessing in disguise seeing that I will have my ass handed to me in pieces in PES 08 by Mr. Jakcrash once I do so.) And with my internet deciding to shit itself and die every few seconds, downloading that file takes a little more patience than I have, worse so because the download resets everytime the connection dies.
Oh well, I'll give it a shot during my holidays, maybe I can finally experience the so-called incredibly fun multiplayer of GTA4. (Yes, it can go multiplayer and it is the most kickass thing ever or so according to what the reviews had led me to think.) For now I guess I would have to say a reluctant good-bye to it, end of the semester brings a hell load of assignments and projects to finish and the ever looming final exams. Sighs.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
the B White cabal,
on the surface, everything seems innocuous and unpremeditated, just a sequence of events that was decided simply by fate, or more accurately put, by the number of voters. So it seems.
as followers of season 7 of the tv hit series, american idol might know, the most recent contestant ousted eliminated en route the vicious clambering to the top is, you guessed it, brooke white. okay i may be a tad dramatic here, maybe i will stop, and maybe i would not, but the true reason behind her dismissal would more than justify the elaborate buildup.
and you heard it here first on itstourettesnotbeer.
the break down of her name would come into scrutiny here. for i do believe its the crux behind the whole conspiracy, the very key that will unlock the very doors concealing the truth from our eyes. granted, some might argue that is actually the spectacles, but i am referring not to a physical object but rather..
alright, according to the laws of alliteration and carefully studying the initials of this unfortunate reject's name, this is what we get. Brooke White, B W, Bb Ww, Black White.
by a series of simple sound manifestations and a little bit of lucid imagination( more emphasis on this ingredient) we derive something startling. Remember her audition, where she challenged Simon to bring her to the dark side whilst appearing all so pure and white?
well, in all fairness, white was indeed part of her name, but so is its complementary color. But what does all these mean? drawing parallels from the other great conspiracy that has stumped mankind since it was proposed, the 1 + 1 theory might just prove a revelation.
black, white, 1 plus 1... white, black, 1 + 1... the similarity amongst these is that they are Simple.
Simplicity should not be overlooked. in fact, its arguably the most powerful amongst all forces of nature. Everything was designed simple, the earth, the living creatures and even the laws governing us; it was evolution that changed it all. we evolved, got smarter and starting building things etc. But the basis, the very foundation all is build on is, without a shadow of a doubt, Simplicity.
but even in simplicity lies complication, which is ultimately why the 1 + 1 theory has fooled us all and withstood the test of time. its not until we fully understand what simple is can we understand more. What we do know, however, is how to use it. When paula committed that major gaffe(She complained that Jason's second song left her feeling "empty," but then again, how could she feel anything BUT empty if she hasn't seen the performance yet? - unspecified source), what better way to neutralize it and draw suspicion and contempt away by harvesting simplicity in the form of brooke. this is in itself a very complex method of simplification, but i cannot divulge its origins, unfortunately.
black white, black in 5 letter proportions, white in a similar measurement, it was the epitomy of balance. Balance is what we all try to achieve in any aspect of our life, so theres no telling how far brooke would have gone had she not been the scape goat that salvages the whole american idol fallacy.
in her own right, shes a winner already.
and in my own right, this whole post was simple and solely to prove a simple point. whatever bullshit mario can spew, i can do it better. ah well not something i'm particular proud of but i'll live with it.
-jon out
as followers of season 7 of the tv hit series, american idol might know, the most recent contestant ousted eliminated en route the vicious clambering to the top is, you guessed it, brooke white. okay i may be a tad dramatic here, maybe i will stop, and maybe i would not, but the true reason behind her dismissal would more than justify the elaborate buildup.
and you heard it here first on itstourettesnotbeer.
the break down of her name would come into scrutiny here. for i do believe its the crux behind the whole conspiracy, the very key that will unlock the very doors concealing the truth from our eyes. granted, some might argue that is actually the spectacles, but i am referring not to a physical object but rather..
alright, according to the laws of alliteration and carefully studying the initials of this unfortunate reject's name, this is what we get. Brooke White, B W, Bb Ww, Black White.
by a series of simple sound manifestations and a little bit of lucid imagination( more emphasis on this ingredient) we derive something startling. Remember her audition, where she challenged Simon to bring her to the dark side whilst appearing all so pure and white?
well, in all fairness, white was indeed part of her name, but so is its complementary color. But what does all these mean? drawing parallels from the other great conspiracy that has stumped mankind since it was proposed, the 1 + 1 theory might just prove a revelation.
black, white, 1 plus 1... white, black, 1 + 1... the similarity amongst these is that they are Simple.
Simplicity should not be overlooked. in fact, its arguably the most powerful amongst all forces of nature. Everything was designed simple, the earth, the living creatures and even the laws governing us; it was evolution that changed it all. we evolved, got smarter and starting building things etc. But the basis, the very foundation all is build on is, without a shadow of a doubt, Simplicity.
but even in simplicity lies complication, which is ultimately why the 1 + 1 theory has fooled us all and withstood the test of time. its not until we fully understand what simple is can we understand more. What we do know, however, is how to use it. When paula committed that major gaffe(She complained that Jason's second song left her feeling "empty," but then again, how could she feel anything BUT empty if she hasn't seen the performance yet? - unspecified source), what better way to neutralize it and draw suspicion and contempt away by harvesting simplicity in the form of brooke. this is in itself a very complex method of simplification, but i cannot divulge its origins, unfortunately.
black white, black in 5 letter proportions, white in a similar measurement, it was the epitomy of balance. Balance is what we all try to achieve in any aspect of our life, so theres no telling how far brooke would have gone had she not been the scape goat that salvages the whole american idol fallacy.
in her own right, shes a winner already.
and in my own right, this whole post was simple and solely to prove a simple point. whatever bullshit mario can spew, i can do it better. ah well not something i'm particular proud of but i'll live with it.
-jon out
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